Squirrel Is Primary Suspect in Massive Nut Theft

No, this is not an Onion article.

Police in Michigan are currently investigating the theft of 28,000 pounds of packaged nuts. The thief (or thieves) robbed a truck and trailer of "18 pallets of walnuts and other snack nuts," estimated to be worth more than $128,000. (Perhaps the robbers are trying to beat this prestigious world record.) They reached out to the community for help and posted a mug shot of a squirrel on Facebook, along with information about the case.

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